His Hat
by Linalee Marie
Summary: Kyle just doesn't look right without his hat, yet something doesn't feel right with him either. Short sad story rated for language


**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters...though I wish I did...except Cartman...sort of...**

**Well...no I wish I owned him as well...yeah...**

Kyle sat in the pew at the Synagogue as he tried to regain his mind, or at least force it to unfreeze from it's vegatated state._ What's going on here? Why's everyone crying?_ He wondered sadly as people began to fill in the pews next to him. He saw Kenny, tears in his eyes as he came and sat down on the opposite end of the pew Kyle was in. "Kenny?...Kenny?" Kenny ignored the Jewish boy as he continued his mission in not crying in public. "Hm..." sighed Kyle as he heard the doors open gently revealing a very tearful Wendy.

"Kenny? Is that you?" she asked through sniffles and muffled sobs. Kenny only nodded but his head was turned to the front. Almost as if he couldn't turn around. Kyle looked towards the front of the Synagogue and saw a coffin, it was closed at the moment but Kyle knew they would open it soon, at least when everyone was here. Watching, Wendy came down, she managed a feble smile and slid in next to Kenny, "Kenny...are you going to be alright?" Kenny only stared blankly ahead.

Sighing Wendy put her mittened hand into Kenny's "It's okay Kenny, it will all be okay." Suddenly Kenny removed his hood shocking Kyle and Wendy both.

"No..." he said after a while of silence. "No Wendy, it won't be alright...not for a very, very long time." Kyle was confused, what was going on at the moment. Why didn't Wendy say hi to him, _Possibly to emotional right now, she will later._ He thought to himself. Wendy nodded and seemed to understand Kenny's thoughts,

"How's Stan?" Kenny shrugged,

"I dunno, I haven't had the heart to call him yet." Nodding once more Wendy remained quiet for a long time. Kyle was about to open his mouth when the doors open again, revealing a very puffy-eyed Butters standing in the doorway.

"O-oh h-hey fellas I was just...well..." Wendy looked at Butters, tears covering her eyes.

"I know Butters, Come sit, It's okay." He sighed and came in next to Wendy, shaking with sorrow and tears.

"M-Ma parents wouldn't let me come...b-but I decided to sneak out anyways. It's what he woulda done too, if that were me." Wendy nodded and put her other arm around the shaking Butters.

"Yeah...he would of wouldn't he? But then again he was always like that." Kyle watched the scene unfold as the confusion on him grew. Who were they talking about? Bowing his head he knew better then to ask then, he'd do it later. A giant SLAM opened the door and they all turned to see a winded Cartman, tears in his giant blue eyes and his face red, either from crying or the cold Kyle didn't know but he was touched that Cartman cared about who died.

"I'm not late am I?" he asked softly looking at Wendy and Kenny. They shook their heads and Kenny gestured for him to come sit down next to the blonde boy. "God Kenny...Why did it have to come to this? I-I honestly thought it would be you in that." Kenny's eyes slanted giving people the awarness he was cross.

"Cartman!" shushed Wendy.

"What? I'm just saying-"

"Don't **say** anything Cartman...please...just...shut up for once...for him." That seemed to silence the fatass and Kyle was quiet pleased but afraid as well. Kyle was afraid, something didn't sit right with him today, rolling up his mittens he took off his hat, revealing red silky hair that was curled softly down his head. Gently clutching it to his chest Kyle wondered what brought them all together this cold night.

The door opened once more to reveal Mrs. Garrison and Mr. Hat, they seemed to be crying as well. Then Jimbo, Mr and Mrs Marsh came in along with Token, Clyde, Jimmy, Timmy, and Bebe. Kyle smiled gently, apparently this person had touched their lives in a deep way and he was glad to be apart of this gathering at the moment. But then something happened that tore his heart in half, his family came in. Shelia and Gerald Broflovski came in, crying so hard that Kyle thought they were going to create a new river or something.

"Oh Gerald...this can't be happening...this can't be..." cryed the weeping mother but his father wasn't in any better shape.

"C-calm down S-Shelia, h-he's in a b-better place...He's in a...a better place." She shook her head as if refusing to take in what he was saying as they sat in the pew infront of Kyle.

"Mom?...Dad?" Yet they didn't answer him, probably in too much greif right now. Kyle decided to let them alone till after the ceremony. Then came his little brother Ike, he kept quiet, almost confused in a way, like he didn't know what was going on but a part of him knew, and this scared him the most.

"Mama?" came his tiny voice and Shelia burst out into another round of tears. Kyle felt his heart break, creating a founding line and surely he knew that one more round of tears from his mother would crack his heart in half for good. An opening of doors revealed Kenny's parents, Cartman's mom, and even more children from Fourth Grade.

"What the heck?" asked Kyle as he was prepared to ask his mom who died. "Probably Grandpa..." said Kyle as tears began to form in his own emerald eyes.

Then he saw Stan...he stood in the door way, face pale and eyes filled with fear and emense sorrow. "Oh my god...Stan what happened?" yet he ignored his words just as everyone else before him and sat down next to Butters. Wendy looked over at him,

"Stan...Stan are you alright?" He ignored her as well, his mind seemed to be trying to grasp at something and he shivered slightly, yet Kyle felt no wind pass between the two. "Stan?" asked Wendy. Turning his head to her, Stan took off his hat, revealing his jet black hair which he inherited from his father. "S-Stan?" Yet he only bowed his head and Kyle saw the tears carving their way down his pale face. Then he began to shake, letting out the tears he tried hard to ignore.

"Goddammit...goddammit." he swore.

"STAN!" shouted Kyle. It was an insult to swear in his Synagogue and yet Stan seemed to just...pretend he didn't hear. This worried and frightened Kyle as well, Turning his attention to the front he watched as the Rabbi came up and read from the book, turning to Shelia he gave her his blessings. "Wow...it reall was Grandpa huh?" Yet something in his heart knew different. Standing up to leave he saw his family go up and look at the body, tears rolling down his family's face. Kyle walked up the purple satin stairs and yet his legs felt heavy with every step, something wasn't right and everything seemed to go in slow motion.

Ike tugged on Shelia's skirt, "Mama...can Kyle come out of tha box now?" He froze in midstep and his mouth dropped. This caused Shelia to moan out another round of sobs as she held on to her husband. "Mama? Can he play with me now?" Tears came into the little boy's eyes as he stared at the body. Kyle peered over his dad's shoulder, there he was. He was dressed in his black suit and his face was so pale it was almost pure white, his lips were bluish and his eyes were closed. He looked almost peaceful yet Kyle was feeling everything but that. Screaming at the top of his lungs he nearly threw up but forced himself to remain calm.

Sighing the family returned to his seat and Kyle tried to remember what happened, how he died. Closing his eyes he tried to remember everything that happened, he was at Stan's house and they got into an argument, Kenny tried to help but he only pissed Kyle off more and Cartman...well he never cared. No one did. Kyle wondered what was going through his mind as he picked up the razor blade and ran it across his wrists. No one cared for him, not anymore, he pushed everyone he loved away even his little brother, why? For what reason? He couldn't even remember. Turning back to the coffin he saw something out of place...he didn't have his hat. "M-my hat..." he managed to say. Suddenly He saw Stan at the center.

"Hey everyone, I-I know this is hard, on everyone, even Cartman." Cartman bowed his head and tried to cover his tearstains. "But Kyle wouldn't want this...not everyone crying and screaming and trying to...trying to get answers. No, He'd want a smile from everyone here, from everyone who cared. Kyle commited suicide because he felt unloved, unloved by a hard pushing mother, a sometimes uncaring father, an adopted brother..." he paused a moment, gathering his emotions quickly. "A harsh cruel friend, a silent child, and...an even rotten best friend. I know we all wish we could have him back but we can't people. He's not comeing back...not anymore." Stan tried to stop himself from crying but he didn't manage. Tears rolling down his face he looked out over the crowd.

"If there was anything in my life I could change...it would be my treatment towards my best friend in the entire world. He was my best friend, my shelter, and my brother, I loved him with all my heart and will never forget the memories we've had. My only wish was that...I could let him know...just once more that...that..." Tears chocked off his sentence but he managed with one last few words. "he **was** loved."

Turning around he looked into the coffin at the peaceful Kyle and suddenly he stopped. "His hat..." he whispered softly, with that he got back down and let the service run it's course. After it was over Stan stared at Kyle's body, Kyle's sprit right next to him.

"Hey...Dude...I forgive you, it's okay Stan, I'm...I'm right here...I swear." he managed trying to put his arm around his friend, Stan only shivered harshly. Sighing he saw Kenny and Cartman come up to him.

"Dude Stan...Come on we need to go." said Cartman sadly.

"But his hat..."

"Come on Stan, let's go home, please." begged Kenny.

"His hat..."

"STAN SCREW THE HAT I WANNA GO HOME!" Stan only shook his head as he turned back to the boys.

"You two go...I'll be in after you." They left leaving the greving best friend to himself.

"Kyle...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry."

Kyle took off his hat and wrote down a note using the pen he had in his pocket. Leaving it on the pew he headed for the doors, stopping he turned around and watched for a moment. Stan was looking at the hat, tears in his eyes. Walking over he picked it up and hugged it tightly, Sitting down he read the note to himself.

_Dearest Stan,_

_Dude...it's not your fault, it's no ones. Your speech was touching at my funneral I'm so proud of you. I hope you understand that, I'll forgive you on one condition, if you forgive me. Remember I'll always be here if you need to talk. I'll always be your best friend, your shelter, and your brother._

_Love,_

_Kyle_

_PS. Oh and dude, put my hat on me, I look stupid without it, Thanks._

Stan was now crying for dear life. "I need you Kyle...I need you." Gently standing up he managed to get the hat and put it on his dead best friend. Bending over he gave him one last hug. Smiling weakly he looked at the doors as they opened. "Y—You do look stupid without the hat."

Kyle turned around and smiled at the tears. "Thanks dude...Thanks."


End file.
